Are You on the Same Page? 3 Conversations Every Couple Should Have
What Every Couple Should Talk About Before They Have To
I’ll be honest this is an area Rachel and I need to grow in. Like many pastor couples, life moves fast, and we often assume we’re on the same page... until we’re not.
Early in our marriage, when we were getting out of debt, we budgeted every dollar together. We were working the Financial Peace plan, tracking our spending, and aligned on the mission. But now, decades later, even though we save more than 15% and don’t carry credit card debt, we don’t talk about our financial systems as often as we should.
If something happened to me, could Rachel easily pick up where I left off? Would she know how to access everything? Would she feel equipped?
Here are three practical areas every couple should walk through together:
1. Accounts & Access
This one is foundational.
Do you both know how to access:
Retirement accounts?
Checking and savings?
Online bill pay portals?
Credit card or loan accounts?
Ask yourselves:
Do we both know the passwords or where to find them?
If one of us was unavailable for a few weeks, could the other handle things?
This isn’t about being paranoid. It’s about being prepared.
2. Wills, Beneficiaries & Paperwork
This is one of those things we all mean to update but don’t always get around to.
Talk through:
Do we both know where the will is? Is it current?
Who are the listed beneficiaries on our retirement and insurance policies?
Where is the life insurance paperwork?
If something happened to either of us, would the surviving spouse know what steps to take next?
It’s not about being morbid. It’s about honoring one another and providing clarity when emotions run high.
3. Vision & Values
Do we share the same vision when it comes to money?
Ask questions like:
What are our financial goals over the next 1, 5, or 10 years?
Are we both on board with how we’re giving, saving, or spending?
Are we carrying stress that hasn’t been voiced?
Is there a ministry goal we’re working toward together?
Money is emotional. But when you’re united in vision, decisions become easier.
Final Thought
You don’t need to knock this all out in one sitting. Maybe it starts with a walk, a cup of coffee, or one honest question.
If you’re not 100% sure your spouse knows how to access everything or what your financial vision looks like this week might be the perfect time to start the conversation.
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
